Three trips to subspace

Subspace is a different place for each person who goes there. And, in fact, it’s a different place every time I’m lucky enough to visit.

Some things about the trip are the same every time. There has to be a combination of pain and pleasure, and it’s the mixture of the two that determines the trip. Too much pain reduces the pleasure, and increasing amounts of pleasure decreases the pain.

I have to be blindfolded in order to go. Blindfolding reduces outside distractions. I’m fussy about my blindfold – it needs to be tight enough that I can’t peek out from underneath.

Once the pain and the orgasms begin, the world disappears. All thoughts melt away, and the only things that exist for me are the pain, the pleasure, and my Sir’s voice. If you ask me afterward what he said, I probably couldn’t tell you. As I get deeper, I have a hard time comprehending his words. But the sound of his voice keeps me anchored and feeling safe.

In a typical play date, I have three opportunities to visit subspace. Two ass beatings, 20 swats each, using the diamond paddle that I used to hate, before Sir allowed me to orgasm during my beatings. When used by itself, without orgasms, the diamond paddle burns like hell.

We begin the beating with me bending over, blindfolded, pressing my cordless Hitachi to my clit, building up toward orgasm, but not allowed to cum until Sir is ready to administer the first swat. He waits until my first orgasm has started, and then hits my ass with the paddle. I’m required to ask for each swat, and when I really get into it, I’m begging him to hit me.

After 20 swats and typically 10 orgasms, he relents. We take a break for some cock sucking before he gives me my second 20, which are always less painful and more pleasurable than the first 20.

Another break for some cock sucking, and then we do titty torture. I sit in a chair, blindfolded, hands behind my back, sitting on my Hitachi and cumming while he tortures my tits and my nipples in various ways. Titty torture is an old favorite of ours. We’ve done it since our very first play date, over 4 years ago. It was my first experience with the mixture of pain and pleasure, and it was my first opportunity to visit subspace.

On this particular play date, I’m tired and a bit tense, having had a minor kid-related emergency the previous night. My pain tolerance is lower than usual, so the first ass beating is high pain and low pleasure – hard to get through, counting down until the swats are over. But after the 20th swat is done and the Hitachi is turned off, I immediately get a sensation of deep relaxation. Peace, calm, serenity. The kind of mindset you’d meditate for 30 minutes to achieve. I’m quiet, and I can feel the tension of the morning just melting off of me.

The second ass beating is just the right combination of pain and pleasure. I can feel the pain, but it is low intensity – good pain that heightens the pleasure for me. My orgasms build in intensity as the swats continue, and when the 20th swat comes, I’m almost wanting to keep going. Sir gives me a 21st swat today and I turn off the Hitachi with some reluctance. The endorphins hit me immediately. I’m high as a kite. Euphoric, giggling uncontrollably, barely able to hold still while he takes pictures of the aftermath.

After a break for some cock sucking (and some water), it’s titty torture time! And today I get a special treat – zippers. 10 clothespins per tit, attached to the tit meat with 5 clothespins on each side, strung together with twine. They look like some modern work of art when they’re attached to my tits. Sir waits until I’ve got 12 orgasms under my belt, and then he rips off the first one. I have a hard time putting into words how it felt. In the instant of removal, there is pain and shock and surprise. You can hear my scream on the video. But the pain only lasts an instant, and the orgasm that follows is a whole new level of pleasure. Sir lets me cum 10 more times, my whole body shaking from the orgasms, before he rips off the second zipper. The twine breaks, so it takes two attempts to rip all the clothespins off. This time, I couldn’t even describe the effect as pain. Intensity is the best word I can find. I’m no longer capable of distinguishing pain from pleasure. They’re just one sensation, all mixed together. I finish my last orgasm, this one so intense I feel like my body is coming part, and I beg for Mercy (my safe word).

Sir turns off the Hitachi and asks me a question. And I can’t answer him. My mind is completely blank, my language suddenly gone. At least part of my brain is functioning enough to know that an answer is expected, but I can not force words out of my mouth. Can’t even shake my head yes or no. My brain is unable to record his words into my memory.

I recover quickly. I’m able to whisper within 30 seconds or a minute, and full voice returns to me in a few minutes. I’m loopy for the rest of the day, my brain clearly not hitting on all cylinders. Today, the day after our play date, I have a subspace hangover – I’m very relaxed, tired, lethargic. Having a bit of trouble with this piece, the words not coming as easily as they ordinarily do, the organization of my thoughts not flowing naturally.

Pushing myself to the point of losing my language abilities is amazing and mind blowing. There’s a certain amount of pride that I feel in knowing I can do that. But I also recognize that it’s not something I want to do every day. Pushing me that far is a special occasion. The relaxation and euphoria, though, those are a weekly occurrence that I very much look forward to. They are stress relief, and a way to let go of all of the responsibilities that I have in my daily life. They bond me to my Sir. And after they are over, I will settle between his legs and allow my mind to relax and drift as I give him the release that I know he needs as well.

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