Been playing on bdsmlr.com (Ajennys14) and on Tumblr (subbieslutwriter2). And working on my big vanilla story that I'm almost done with. And trying to heal. I'm still sad and lonely, but I don't really miss him, I just miss the feeling of belonging to someone. I love that feeling. But I need to be comfortable … Continue reading I’m still here! →

Another favorite. All of my main characters are named Jenny, partly cause it's easy, partly because all of these stories are either my fantasies (the dirty ones) or are semi-autobiographical (mostly the non-dirty ones). Jenny and Doug were an hour from home.  Not soon enough for Jenny.  They had planned this road trip to his … Continue reading Car Trouble →

Jenny sat in her cubicle, trying, and failing, to concentrate on her work.  The words in front of her were a blur.  Her head throbbed from lack of sleep.  And her mind kept going over and over the last few days.  What had she missed?   They had had fights before, thrown the word "break up" … Continue reading The Breakup – Vanilla version →

This particular fantasy has gotten me off too many times to count…. Jenny was tired as she opened the door to the apartment that she shared with her boyfriend.  She had been working extra hours all week.  She needed the money.  Jeff, her boyfriend, had not given her his share of the bills for the … Continue reading Poker Game →

Grieving your first Dom/sub experience is a lot like grieving the end of your first love. It's not so much the guy I miss. It's that feeling of being in love. Of submitting, both in and out of the bedroom. Going out to dinner and knowing that he'll decide for us. Being on my knees … Continue reading Grief →

The first time we broke up, about a year and a half ago, we never really broke up. We stalked each other's Tumblr sites. I sent him emails. Lots of emails, especially for the first two weeks. Angry, sad, explaining the things I'd learned about myself as I processed what went wrong. This time, it's … Continue reading No answers to be found →

I got depressed this morning.  Thinking not so much about what was, but about what might have been. The thinking about what was, that part is actually therapeutic.  Wait until she finds out that she has to suck his cock for 30 to 45 minutes, until her legs have completely fallen asleep and she can't … Continue reading What was and what could be →

Day 1 - In Shock There are pros and cons to having an argument electronically. For me, it's actually easier to express myself and be honest. Easier to choose my words. I don't do confrontation very well. But, on the downside, it's also harder to read the other person. The lack of body language makes … Continue reading The Breakup Diary →

Before I knew I was kinky, I was vanilla. And I was happily married to a nice vanilla man. Well, I was happy for a while. Over time, I discovered that our sex drives no longer seemed to match up. Mine was pretty high, and getting higher every year as I became more comfortable with … Continue reading First date (or was it the second?) →

One of the best parts of our Dom/sub relationship lies in the way He pushes my limits. I wasn't very experienced when He got me, you see. I was scared of anal sex - it had hurt the one time I'd tried it. If he hadn't pushed me, I'd never know what "hurts so good" … Continue reading Punishment →