I have this habit of deleting stuff when I’m mad. I did it last night.  A bunch of yahoo messages I didn’t want to look at anymore. And then I turned to my pictures.  His photo album.  That gave me pause.  As I looked at the pictures, I realized that there were good memories there.  … Continue reading What I’ve learned →

This must be what it’s like to come off heroin. I wake up in the morning craving Him.  I check my phone as I first wake up.  And it’s only when I see that there’s no message that it hits me.  There will be no message.  And there’s an ache in my chest.  Nausea in … Continue reading The Breakup →

I am thoroughly and completely submissive.  Or so I thought.  But there’s this lady at work.  I need to work with her.  Can’t avoid her.  She is…. difficult.  And lately, I’ve started to have fantasies about her.  Today’s fantasy involved a shock collar and that nice lexan cane.  And, in my fantasy, every time she … Continue reading turns out there’s a little sadist in all of us…. →

We’re in the car together.  He unzips his shorts and pulls out his cock.  It’s ready for my attention.  I lay down as best I can in the car, put my head between his legs and take it in my mouth.  I close my eyes, focusing on the feeling of it in my mouth, the … Continue reading Cock sucking as meditation →

It’s very simple, really.   A slut is a woman who has a high sex drive.  A woman who really enjoys sex.  Very often this kind of woman will have many sex partners.    Partly as a result of exploring her sexuality, certainly.  But also because many guys don’t actually like a woman with a … Continue reading The Difference between a Slut and a Whore →

A few weeks ago, we got me to a 10 on the pain scale.  It’s only happened a few times, which is pretty impressive considering the intensity of our play. We stopped, he comforted me, we moved on to other things.   But the 10 kept rattling around in my head.  A war ensued between … Continue reading Why →

BDSM play can be amazing.  Intense.  Addictive.  That high that I get from the pain-pleasure mix.  That trip to subspace, coming out of it, I’m barely verbal.  Don’t even know where I am, barely know my own name.  It’s therapeutic in it’s own way.  It gives me a relaxation that others have to do intense … Continue reading The Importance of Aftercare →

It’s a big thing among female culture to talk about your boyfriends and husbands.  Not sexually, mind you.  At least, not among my friends – we don’t even acknowledge the fact that we have sex.   Straightlaced baptist girls, all of them.  No, this kind of talk is more complaints and bragging.  The other night, … Continue reading He’s not my boyfriend, he’s my Dom →

It all comes down to trust. I can trust him to take me to my limit, but stop when I need to stop. I can trust him to push me to try new things, but respect my fears in doing that. I can trust him to take everything I’ve got.  The subbie who’s yowling when … Continue reading What makes a good Dom →

This was written about 2.5 years ago, but it still describes me well... Looking back, I’m shocked at how sexually naive I was about myself for so long.  I’ve always had a high sex drive.   And a vivid imagination.  But I married the wrong person for the wrong reasons.  Not his fault, really.  It … Continue reading About me →