A follower asked me to describe my need to be dominated. What do I get out of it?  Why was I attracted to it in the first place?  Why am I not miserable in turning all of my power over to a man, and doesn't that make him selfish and oblivious to my needs? I … Continue reading Why →

It was a little over three years ago when I was introduced to the amazing link between pleasure and pain. He told me that the same nerves sense both sensations. The brain can easily get confused between one and other. And then he demonstrated. Sure enough, the right combination of pleasure and pain produces the … Continue reading Maintenance Spankings →

There's a concept called The Relationship Escalator. It says that relationships are expected in our culture to proceed along a predictable path, in a predictable time frame. You start dating a guy, then you see him exclusively. You move in together, get engaged, get married, have a kid, live happily ever after. And those of … Continue reading The Relationship Escalator →

We broke up for awhile. Six long weeks. At the beginning of the break up, when we were still talking, still fighting, that’s when I threw it at him. I was angry and hurt. I was intending to lash out at him. I told him that he should do women a favor and just go … Continue reading A Real Whore →

Looking back, I can see that the breakup was a necessary thing. He had some family issues to deal with.  I thought I was helping.  I meant well, but really I was getting in the way.  And I had my own baggage to deal with.  Memories from my way back past.  Stuff that had followed … Continue reading Recollared →

Or - what women really think when we see your dick Look, guys, I actually like dick pics better than most women.  I enjoy seeing proof that my pics turn you on. But you have to understand that women are not wired like men.  Men are visual creatures.  You see titties, you get hard.  Very … Continue reading Dick Picks →

I sucked his cock in the parking lot today. A dark and gloomy day. I could feel the thunder vibrating through the car. The only sounds were the rain hitting the roof and his groans of pleasure. For a while, everything disappeared. And after he came, after we were done, i drove away, calmer, with … Continue reading Yes I Did →

I’ve met some truly wonderful people through this blog.  A few of you who have been messaging me here have helped me through some very painful days. You’ve been wonderful!  And I honestly thank you for that.  You’ve made me feel so much less alone. And then there were a few others…..  These are a … Continue reading Guy Count →

It’s been more than three weeks now. I don’t miss the sex at all. Heck, the sex was barely there the last three months, anyway. And the drama? The emotional rollercoaster ride? Oh heck no. I’m allergic to drama. I miss his friendship. Just today i read a good article on addiction, and I thought … Continue reading What I Miss →