I can still remember a fantasy I had when I was young. I was in an ambulance, strapped to a gurney. Arms and legs strapped down, unable to move. Surrounded by three ambulance attendants, all male. And they were touching me, examining me.... I was 7 or 8 years old when I had this fantasy. … Continue reading Late Bloomer →

It's a kink we discovered together. He likes sharing me, especially my oral services, with other men while he watches and takes pictures. We've tried a couple of different versions of this kink, but the latest was for me to meet a guy in a bar, then go back to a cheap motel with him … Continue reading Lessons Learned →

He cancelled our playdate this weekend. He's not been feeling well. And he's been very quiet. I hate that. I miss him when he's quiet. And I get cranky when we miss our playdate. He hates that. He says that I take it out on him when I'm cranky. He thinks I should be tougher. … Continue reading Cranky →

When you post naked pictures of yourself on the Web, well, people are gonna judge. Nothing I can do about that. But I have to say, I've been pleasantly surprised at how nice people have been, overall. Apparently some of them find me hot! No joke, I'm still somewhat shocked by that. You know how … Continue reading Judgement call →

There's a phase that many newly out submissives go through - it's called Sub Frenzy. When you're discovering everything, when you want to try everything. When you think you know everything. It can be a dangerous period. I went through it. And I was lucky to emerge relatively unscathed. I found myself with one dom … Continue reading Limits →

I went out to dinner with a guy friend the other day. He was very solicitous. Where did I want to go to dinner? Which table did I want to sit at? Did I want to sit facing the window, or toward the TV? Oy. So many decisions. I found it vaguely irritating. Dom/sub, for … Continue reading Decisions, decisions →

My Sir and I have a shared blog that documents our kinks. It was on Tumblr, with over 10,000 followers. We've recently moved it to MeWe, and it's attracted over 1000 contacts in less than a month. I'm completely stunned that anyone would want to look at my body, much less 10,000 people. Good Lord, … Continue reading A Brief History →

It was pointed out to me yesterday on MeWe that I'm fat.   It's true. I do not have a porn star's body.  Which is actually fine with me.  With my sex drive and my exhibitionist tendencies, if I'd had a porn star's body, I would have been, well, a porn star.  Or, more likely, a stripper.  … Continue reading My burden to bear →

I used to get them quite a bit when we were on Tumblr.   They would start out as guys who wanted to sex chat.   But they weren't very good at it.  Okay, truth is, no one is as good as my Sir at sex chatting.  That man is as talented with his words as he … Continue reading (don’t) Rescue Me →

It's an old four-door sedan with windows tinted so dark you can't see in. You can't see what someone might be doing in there. The first time we played in it was only the second time we'd met. I'm embarrassed now at how I threw myself at him. But playing in his car was fun. … Continue reading The BDSM-mobile →