Grief

Grieving your first Dom/sub experience is a lot like grieving the end of your first love.

It’s not so much the guy I miss. It’s that feeling of being in love. Of submitting, both in and out of the bedroom. Going out to dinner and knowing that he’ll decide for us. Being on my knees looking up at him, knowing that was the place I was meant to be. After being unhappily married for many years, this felt so comfortable. It felt like a place I was meant to live in.

Intellectually, I know there are other Doms out there. Other kinky relationships to be had. But right now, my heart isn’t sure it will ever feel that way again.