Lessons Learned

It’s a kink we discovered together. He likes sharing me, especially my oral services, with other men while he watches and takes pictures.

We’ve tried a couple of different versions of this kink, but the latest was for me to meet a guy in a bar, then go back to a cheap motel with him and perform a series of sexual tasks while I took pictures and sent them to Him in real time.

And that is how I came to be sitting in that bar, in my denim skirt, my fuck me black heels, and my lace up bralette that showed off my tits so well. I took my time dressing, as much for myself and for Sir as for the stunt cock. My self-esteem has been a bit up and down lately, so it made me feel good to look in the mirror and see the hot redhead with the big tits staring back at me.

Still, as I drove up to the bar, I was nervous. Okay, have a drink, that will settle you down, I told myself. But as I sat at the table with him, sipping my whiskey on the rocks, I found the conversation somewhat lagging. He talked mostly about his work, about his family. I found my mind drifting, had to stop my eyes from wandering around the bar. What was it about him that struck me as arrogant? Maybe how little he asked about me, and about Sir? If you were a guy who was asked to perform this task, wouldn’t you be at least a bit interested in how she felt about it, or how she and her Sir came to be doing this? He didn’t seem to care.

I put it out of my mind. I would be fine once we got to the motel.

But as I walked into the room, bag of sex toys over my shoulder, I still felt it. As he kissed me, chewed on my lower lip, I found myself vaguely annoyed, with a part of my mind asking when this would be over. Don’t get me wrong, there were parts of it that were fun. The doggie style fucking, hard and fast just like I like it. The cock sucking – I do like to suck cock, I love making men cum. It feels like a super-power to be able to make them lose control like that. And yet, there was something that felt …. not quite right… a reserve that I couldn’t quite shake. A piece in the back of my mind that said, are we almost done yet?

Afterward, I met a friend for dinner – one of the very few people who know about the real me – the submissive me. She asked me about my adventure, and all I could say was, well, it was okay. I hadn’t felt the naughty joy that I had expected to feel. Mostly I was just glad it was over, hopeful that it would please my Sir.

It was the next day when I discovered what it was that I had been missing.

I walked into Sir’s house, and he kissed me just right, whispering filthy things in my ear that made my pussy tingle. He played with my titties, sucking the whole areola into his mouth and chewing on the nipple with his back teeth, in that way that makes me gasp and whimper. As I sucked his cock, it tasted and smelled just right, and I closed my eyes and lost myself in the moment, forgetting where i was and how long I’d been there.

I thought about that sexual connection between us – a connection that has been there since the first time we played. I thought about how easy it is for me to submit to Him, how easy it’s always been, from the very beginning. To trust Him, to just close my eyes and lose myself in our play. And that was what had been missing the previous night.

I’ve thought about it, analyzed it, and I can’t tell you exactly where that connection comes from. It’s trust, it’s respect, it’s life experiences we have in common, it’s shared kinks, it’s a sexual chemistry, the knowledge that I turn him on as much as he turns me on. It’s gut instinct, and I’ve felt it from the first time we played.

My first attempt at hot subbing did not turn out as I expected it to. But I did learn a few valuable lessons from it. I learned that making my Sir happy is reward enough. I learned that there’s just no way I could ever go back to vanilla. And I was reminded once again of how very lucky I am to have what I have with my Sir.