Decisions, decisions

I went out to dinner with a guy friend the other day. He was very solicitous. Where did I want to go to dinner? Which table did I want to sit at? Did I want to sit facing the window, or toward the TV?

Oy. So many decisions. I found it vaguely irritating.

Dom/sub, for my Sir and I, isn’t confined to the bedroom. When we go for lunch after a playdate, or when we go out on a “vanilla” date, he decides the agenda. He decides where we go to eat. He picks the table, and then he sits down at the chair he wants. No annoying discussions and decisions. He’s the one person that I can truly relax with. I don’t have to wonder – is this really what he wants, or is he accommodating me? Is he having a good time, or is he going to go home vaguely annoyed at having to go to that restaurant again? Is he going to complain about the lengths he goes to to keep his woman happy? You know, like the old saying, happy wife, happy life?

Nope, not this man. This man is honest with me. This man tells me what he wants – which restaurant, which table, even during a blow job. If I’m sucking his cock wrong, he’ll tell me how to do it better. I don’t have to worry about doing it right. I can relax, knowing that if it’s wrong, he’ll tell me. And if he’s quiet, he’s probably just deep in thought. Or, if I’m giving him a blowjob, he’s getting ready to cum.

I know there are plenty of people out there, men and women, who find our relationship style odd. What about my needs? Don’t I ever get to go where I want? Of course. It does help that we have similar tastes in food and activities. But being the Dom means he also takes my needs into consideration. When he picks that table, he makes sure he gets the view he wants. But he also makes sure the sun isn’t in my eyes. And I trust him to do that.

There are times, almost exclusively during play, when he pushes my limits, asks me to do something that I don’t want to do. And the truth is, I like it when he pushes me, too. When I’m doing something I don’t want to do. Because I love knowing that he’s still in charge. And I know I’ll get rewarded for being a Good Girl. And I always end up enjoying myself, anyway. I remember the first time he fisted me. Damn, I was scared. Damn I came hard. It was SO much fun.

It’s really hard for me to put into words how happy this relationship makes me. I’m amazed and astounded at how good, how natural my submission feels, when I’m actually a very strong-willed woman in every other area of my life. And I feel no desire to change the rest of my life. I will continue to be a strong, opinionated woman in the work place, with my friends, and with my kids. But I’m also very happy to be his submissive.